These are pretty funny. I hope they impart some sort of wisdom on all of you who read them, or at least just laugh a bit.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I feel I've learned something today. Thank you Taylor.